Tell us about yourself, your background, and your current role.

 I spent 21 years in the RAF as a combat helicopter pilot.  In 2021 I retrained as a mindfulness coach and cognitive behavioural therapist so I could “cure the world of all suffering.”  Mindfulness had changed my life and really helped me to process difficult emotions and destructive thinking habits.  I wanted to share these techniques with all the other people just like me, who look like they have all their stuff together but are secretly fighting their own mental battles.  I worked out pretty quickly that mindfulness can be a hard sell, but stories of flying and military derring do have tremendous appeal.  So these days I’m a motivational speaker.  Basically I use cool flying stories to teach mindfulness by stealth because my stories not only illustrate mindfulness in action they prove that these techniques work.  For example when I hit wires in Morocco I started daydreaming about how I was going to die. My instructor shouted “Fly the aircraft, Sarah” which is really just another way of bringing you back into the present and focussing your attention where it needs to be.   And if you can practice mindfulness whilst crashing a helicopter you can pretty much practice mindfulness anywhere.

Did you ever sit down and plan your career?

Yes – I LOVE a plan. I had it all mapped out from about the age of 13. I was going to be head of the CCF, get a 6th form scholarship, then university sponsorship, study astrophysics at Cambridge, become a fighter pilot, then become an astronaut.  I was aiming for the stars. I landed in Henley on Thames.  So pretty close. 

What inspired you to join the military?

Top Gun.  I wanted to wear a bomber jacket with patches on it. I wanted to be cool like Maverick. Needless to say I wasn’t a very cool kid. But I was very determined. 

Can you share your journey from deciding to become a helicopter combat pilot to achieving that goal?

Well, I wanted to be a fighter pilot.  So I went through flying training and happily I got streamed fast jets (after a brief period of trying to convince the RAF that my arms were long enough to reach the controls – a lot of girls failed the medical screening for being too short back then. I think these days we all have better diets and are growing taller so hopefully this is less of an issue today). I did pretty well in flying training.  I got all the way to flying Hawks. But then I choked.  I don’t think it was fear of failure that got to me. I think it was fear of success. Every time I passed I was setting a new higher standard for me to maintain.  I didn’t know how to handle that kind of pressure.  And I couldn’t quite believe I was managing to achieve my dreams.  Of course, these days we’d probably call that imposter syndrome. And these days I know about a mindfulness technique called distress tolerance, which means we can learn to accept difficult thoughts and feelings, such as “I shouldn’t be here” or “I’m scared I’m not good enough”. when we can sit with these thoughts and feelings they lose their power over us. But back then I didn’t know that, so I did what we all do when the pressure gets too much. I self sabotaged.  Or I ran out of talent.  Probably a bit of both.  Anyway, at that point, I dropped down a level to helicopters.  And that’s how my helicopter career began. It was rather glorious because I went from flying at 7 miles a minute to flying at 2 miles a minute – I had so much capacity back! I went on to fly the Puma and was privileged enough to fly Special Forces missions. 

What were some of the most challenging missions you flew, and how did you handle those situations?

Flying at night in a snowstorm in the mountains. I was flying a casevac mission. We were trying to rescue a wounded soldier who’d been bitten by a black mamba.  The weather and light levels were completely unsuitable, but we didn’t want to leave a man to die so we pushed on further than we probably should have.  In the end I made the decision to abort the mission and we left that soldier on the hillside.  It was a very hard decision to make but I knew if I  continued I’d fly into the side of the mountain kill everyone on the aircraft. 

How did you maintain focus and composure under high-pressure combat situations?

You can only focus on ONE thing at a time, so the trick is to make sure you focus on the thing that is most helpful in any given moment. If all else fails, remember to “fly the aircraft.”  If you’re focusing on flying, you can’t be focussing on freaking out so it’s a win win really. 

Can you describe a particularly memorable mission and what you learned from it?

When I flew Special Forces mission, we’d often come back from the mission with detainees.  They were terrorists. They were the enemy.  The bad guys.  We were the good guys… and yet, I remember feeling sorry for the frightened men who were in the back of the aircraft.  And I realised that they probably thought THEY were the good guys and WE were the bad guys.  It taught that life is rarely black and white.  And I’m not sure I believe in goodies and baddies anymore.  I tell my son, “there is no such thing as a baddie. Only a goodie having a bad day. And we can always feel compassion for our fellow humans no matter which side they are fighting for.”

What leadership principles from your time as a combat pilot do you find most applicable in your current role?

I think you learn a lot about what it is to be human by understanding what scares you.  I learned that there are things that are more frightening than death. Like failure.  Or rejection.  And these fears often drive our behaviour even if we don’t realise it.   So I try to remember that so I can lead with compassion and emotional intelligence.  I’ll ask myself, “what fear is driving their behaviour and what can I do to help them face that fear.” For example if someone is boastful and single-minded it might not be that they are arrogant. It might actually be because they are afraid of looking stupid.  So rather than putting them back in their box, you could share a mistake you made, or you could reveal to them that you also worry about looking stupid. It might just be what they need to hear. They’ll realise they are not the only ones that feel like this, that’s it normal and they will hopefully feel inspired to face these fears.

How do you make decisions under pressure, and how did your combat experience influence your decision-making style?

Under pressure I think making a decision is better than not making a decision. So the trick is to just make a decision.  And the best way to do that is to trust your gut.  I believe that most of the time, deep down, we know the decision we want to make and it’s fear that inhibits us.  For example in the black mamba scenario, we all knew in our gut that we needed to abort the mission. It was fear of failure that got in the way and delayed that decision. So decision making under pressure is about trusting your gut even if it scares you. 

How did you foster teamwork and trust among your crew during missions?

I think I could have been a better team player at times.  I could be pretty single-minded and wilful.  But the best teamwork always happened when I accepted people as they were and allowed them to do what they were good at. The best teamwork happened when I allowed people to contribute and didn’t feel like I had to do everything myself.

What communication strategies did you use in the cockpit that you have carried over to your civilian leadership roles?

Well, we are a big fan of hot debriefs when we are flying.  And then longer debriefs when we land.  I think this is crucial to give and receive feedback to/from your team so you can continuously improve.  It also sends a strong message that you’re open to talking about what went well, what went wrong and admitting to mistakes. It builds trust and rapport. 

As a woman in a predominantly male environment, what challenges did you face, and how did you overcome them?

I find this question triggers a range of emotions, one of which is frustration. I would love to see women looking for opportunities rather than challenges. I believe it is easy to play the victim if you are in the minority. Because we assume being in the minority is a disadvantage.  It’s infused into our everyday language. But who says being in the minority has to be a disadvantage? What if it’s an opportunity.  What if your point of difference is your greatest attribute. For example, when I taught air safety courses, a lot of men would really open up about how their mental health affected their ability to make good decisions.  I’m not sure they’d have shared this so readily if I’d been a man.  Being a woman can be a real privilege and it can give you freedoms that others don’t enjoy. I think we can focus on the opportunities and leverage them. It’s a choice we make.   

• What advice would you give to other women entering male-dominated fields?

I think more of the above really.  Learn to accept yourself as you are and show up as you are. It’s probably exactly what other people need to see because you can play to your strengths and you’re signalling to others that they can show up as themselves too.  You’re showing the way for others. You’re leading the way.  So really it comes down to leadership.  We can all choose to lead from where we stand.  We don’t need to wait for the world to be perfect so we can show up the way we want to. We just show up the way we want to and by doing that we’re creating a better world. Obviously, we need male allies – we need people to create the space for women to achieve their potential, to take on leadership roles, but it works both ways – women also need to step up and lead, not just wait for men to invite them and complain when they don’t. In short, this is my call to action -it’s time to take the lead. 

What core values guide your leadership style, and how were they shaped by your experiences as a combat pilot?

DBAD, (don’t be a dick) DBTD,  (don’t become the dick if someone else is a dick) if you forget the first 2 then own it and apologise. How were these values shaped – well honestly, I could be a bit of a dick.  I’d get defensive when I behaved badly (usually being a bit abrupt or rude) but deep down I loathed myself for it. It took me a long time to learn to forgive myself and eventually to laugh at myself.  And when you forgive yourself, something magic happens, you stop being so much of a dick. So forgiveness isn’t about letting yourself off the hook, it’s the root to being a better person. I also think because of that I’m a lot less judgmental of others than I used to be. If other people are being dicks, I know it’s probably not how they want to show up and they are probably at war with themselves.  And a little bit of me is thinking “thank god it’s not just me.”

What motivates you to continue striving for excellence in your post-military career?

I have huge faith in human potential. I think we can achieve incredible things and most of the time we just need to realise that and stop getting in our own way.  So, my aim to gently nudge people to question their own limiting narrative so they can excel.  For example, when women say, “as a woman I suffer from imposter syndrome” they don’t realise they are putting a barrier in their own way. AND they are assuming that men don’t have the same struggles which can feel isolating and frustrating. Instead we can learn to say “as a human being, I experience doubt and fear, but I can learn to accept these feelings as normal and then go out there and be bloody marvellous anyway.”  So I guess what motivates me is seeing potential and then wanting to help others see it too and to realise it’s completely within their grasp.  If we can get in our own way, we can also get out of our own way. 

What do you wish you had known when you started your career as a combat pilot?

When you think it’s you against the world, it’s probably you against you.  Confidence has never been my issue. Self loathing was my issue. It took me a long time to work out I could like who I was even if I wasn’t perfect. 

And finally, what advice would you give to young people, especially women, aspiring to leadership roles in the military?

Every waking minute of every day you have an extraordinary privilege – the privilege of choice.  You can choose how you show up. You can choose what you say, what you do.  You can even choose what you think and feel by deciding your attitude in any given moment. Nobody can take those choices away from you, even if they try.  That is where leadership starts. By making those choices and owning those choices. That’s self-leadership. And you can start right now. And when you do you might discover there are a few things that will get in the way of you being the kind of leader you want to be.  Some of those barriers will be barriers you put there yourself. Such as your beliefs, your fears your doubts.  That’s normal. You might need to do a bit of inner work to find out how to get out of your own way. For example you might need to learn how to accept that you’ll make mistakes.  Then you might need to do a bit of inner work to get out of other people’s way.  You might need to learn to let other people be better at some things than you are or to disagree with you. But keep going, you’ll keep growing in to the leader you want to be. 

I can simplify the leadership journey like this:

Sarah Furness, author of the bestselling “Fly Higher” and a former RAF helicopter pilot, is set to release her second book, “Uni-tasking Revolution,” on 13th September. The book will be available for just 99p on Amazon. Don’t miss this opportunity to delve into Sarah’s insights on mastering focus and achieving exceptional performance.